A Daily Dose of Zen Sarcasm!: In Which She Discovers Her Life Is Kind Of Boring

Dear SoloMother tagged me in a vicious "no backsies" way the other day --almost at around the same time I was tagging her for the "10 Things I Like About Myself" meme.

The meme? "10 Things That Happened To Me."

I've been thinking a LOT about this meme and doing much trying-to-remember stuff. I was talking to a friend the other day, and while I could conjure up a delightful stream of saliva to grace my lower lip, she was busy remembering brushes with fame and near-brushes with the law.

That's when I realized it: honestly, I don't think that 10 things have happened to me.

So this meme is an open meme: if you want, please

a) do it yourself in your site, or in the comments section, and please kindly link to me so I can fawn over your cool list; and if applicable,

b) tell me one cool thing that's happened TO ME. Because honestly, I'm having a hard time thinking of much.

But hey, memes are about you as you relate to society and therefore beg of you to be completed, so I'm bucking up and writing ten happenings. Prepare to snooze on a Monday:

10 Things That Have Happened To Me

1. I happened to be in a school that had its share of bomb threats. I still remember one in particular, where our entire school had to be evacuated and we had to wait in a soccer field for a little while (about 2 hours or so). It wasn't glamorous and it wasn't pretty, and you bet that 2,000 kids wearing wool and standing under the drizzling rain smell bad.

2. Speaking of bombs, I still remember a bomb that exploded very near our house --maybe some 8 blocks away, perhaps (I'll let Rev. Mom corroborate that fact). I remember standing in my bedroom and seeing my window wobble as if made of Jell-o (talk about wiggle room, huh?). I guess that was the first time I truly realized that glass is, in fact, not a solid. The following day we walked by the site of the explosion and apart from some windows that were cracked or completely fallen on the ground, the building itself didn't look that bad. Or maybe by then we'd become a little complacent.

3. Just now I saw a camera crew sneaking around the back alley-- we happen to live close to a WashingtonPower Player (where Herr Meow has gate-crashed), and I think they were trying to see what kind of "insider footage" they might get. I was honestly tempted to call the police. ("That JUST happened," to quote Ricky Bobby)

4. Here's a happy one: I happened to meet Monsieur Meow through a blind date. I used to watch "Blind Date" the tv show compulsively, and I read DateLab every Sunday (or Saturday, really, since that's when it's delivered) and I guess I've always wondered if two strangers can come together and, matched by some benevolent soul in an altruistic tour of duty, have a happy ending of sorts. So, I guess that bit happened to us, so far. Incidentally, dear DateLab, I think you tend to suck at match-ups-- it's a little depressing sometimes.

5. Um.... *grasping at straws here*... oh yeah! It so happened that I did not tear at all during Herr Meow's birth. How do you like them apples? (I certainly did.)

6. It just so happens that I've moved three times in the past three years to three different timezones-- like radically up-and-move and all that stuff. That's enough to knock about three years off my lifespan, and it looks like it'll happen again. Maybe.

7. And while we're at it, 2004 was insane because we had two major deaths in my family almost exactly four months apart... and my two weddings to the same person (see item #4), right in between those two major deaths. It was a very sad/happy/exhausting year, and all of that happened before July first.

8. It so happens that I am allergic to a certain yellow food dye. This one time, when I was picking up some snacks for the kids at the Y at the Food Bank, I saw a whole bunch of See's Candy and other confectionery that had been left for dead --which should have kind of clued me in, but didn't-- and there was a particularly cute egg-looking thing covered in the most precious yellow icing. I immediately and most gluttonously popped it in my mouth and ooh.... it was filled with cream and deliciousness. It's a good thing I savored it, because the following morning I awoke covered from head to toe in hives and I passed out cold in a compromising position in the bathtub. It was, mercifully, empty. I refused to think that it could have been the yellow dye, until I ate something else with a similar hue (although in a much smaller quantity) and bingo! Hive City: population, way too many.

9. I happened to go to the beach the other day, and kids were free! It was unplanned, but hey! It happened!

10.This one time I was going to Houston but the plane wouldn't take off because there was some sort of technical glitch and so I made friends with the nice gentleman sitting one seat over from me. We talked and chatted and he offered to buy me a drink --in a nice way, not in a pervy way. As we sat there, drinking our gin-and-tonics, the crew announced that they were really sorry about the delay and that ALL drinks would be complimentary during the flight. After double-checking that complimentary a)truly meant "free" and that b) it extended to alcoholic drinks, I proceeded to find out that hard alcohol and 10,000 feet do not mix very well. But, oh... it was a very nice time while it lasted.

There you have it: ten happenings in the life of Madame Meow. I could almost bet money that as soon as I get up from here and go get Herr Meow (never mind: coming down the stairs as of right now), I will remember a host of awesome and jet-setting things that happened to me.

Or not. Have a happy Monday, everyone!