A Daily Dose of Zen Sarcasm!

Food Poisoning For a Better You (Sort Of)

You may be rightfully thinking, "if she's never going to update it, why bother keeping a blog?"

You'd be right.  Except.

I actually have two entries in the back burner.  One, interestingly enough, is about boobs.  That one will probably see the light of day sometime later in the week.  The other one is... oh I forget.  Not that it matters, you see, as I don't think you can see my drafts.  Okay-- you got me: I only have ONE entry in the works.  Feh.

But see, I've also been doing some other writing on the side.  I hesitate to call it "real" writing,  because really, my blog is writing and it's real and I love it very, very much.  But this other kind of writing is for the community in which I live and I get to use my real name --a weird first for me.

I guess you could call it "serious" writing.  Less snark, more substance, if you will.  I hope the gig continues, because I am deeply enjoying the challenge.

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In unrelated news, I just got over a nasty case of food poisoning.

I know you're just dying to hear all about me and my retching, but I do have a point (which reminds me-- maybe you should stop reading here if you get queasy easily).

The point being this: have you ever noticed that just after a bout of illness, any illness, you have the sudden need to preen and fawn over and take better care of yourself?  I am not sure how this translates in masculine terms --and frankly I don't think it matters much as most of my reading and commenting audience (like 97.9%) is female-- but if there are any talkative guys out there who want to share in the comments, I'll be giddy knowing that I actually have guys who read this thing.

I spent about 36 hours feeling so sick I didn't even have the energy to feel sorry for myself-- just had enough to curl into a ball and sleep or do what nature required of me and enough left over to nurse the baby.  So once I could muster enough vim to drag myself to the bathroom and do something about my sorry state, I just could not wait.

And I don't just mean standing under the running shower and hoping that things sort themselves out: oh no.  I actually plucked, tweezed, moisturized, firmed, toned and today I remembered to apply blush AND lipgloss at the same time.  Let me repeat this: I eagerly WANTED to yank as many hairs off my face once I got better as I was able to find without an indecently-sized magnifying glass.  As a matter of fact, I was downright angry that we only had a 10x magnification mirror lying around-- the kind that normally make me run and feel disgusted at the size of my pores.

 I was thinking about this today and the only answer I could think of why this would happen is simple: it's got to be gratitude.

Being truly thankful that one has made it to the other side and possibly learned lessons along the way (i.e. staying away from unrefrigerated dairy would be the ticket here) is the best side effect to illness that I can think of.   And along with that comes something as simple as relishing the body that you have and making it look its best-- cherishing it for what it is, instead of wasting idle hours wishing for better or slimmer or taller.  Realizing that this body made you able and strong enough to beat whatever bug felled you makes you love yourself.

Sometimes it does take a little bit of the bads to be able to see the really, really good.

And it's really, really good to be healthy-- from my own head down to my toes.

All Hail, The MissTache

There have been some very turmoil-y days in the Meowhold.

For one, we are finally the owners of some sweet solar panels upon our roof. We will be living a little more off the grid and this is immensely exciting, especially to Monsieur Meow.  For me, to be perfectly honest, the most exciting part is not to have the incredibly nice guys who installed the solar panels going up and down the stairs a million times a day. 

Priorities, I suppose.

Herr Meow has finished his first year of slightly more serious school, and this was exciting too.  He celebrated by deciding he needed to walk home to a local restaurant... on his own.  We found him almost three blocks away from home, with his pail and shovel, determined to make it to the Argonaut.  I don't think I've ever been more scared of the unknown in my life.

Don Meow is now working on sprouting teeth --he is a consummate drooler-- and he's mastered rolling from back to tummy over the past two weeks.  He is a chuckler, too-- just tickle him a little bit and watch as he does that little stuck-clutch laugh that is so endearing in babies.  He's also managed to almost roll off the bed a couple of times: I give him a month.

Mademoiselle Gracie is a fit feline.  She is exceptionally tartar-free and she could stand to lose a few ounces-- but I think most females always feel that way.  I wish I could lose some more of that post-baby chunk myself.

I find it hard to write these days.

I sometimes fire up Ye Olde Typepad and stare at the blank screen for ages, not even feeling the faintest stirring to commit anything to paper.  I have been reading more, and my life feels like it's lived so intensely that I can hardly remember it; and yet, the blog remains sadly mute.

And it's not for a lack of things to write, either. 

For instance, the other day I saw a woman with an it-would-make-Burt-Reynolds-envious mustache.  It took me a few seconds to realize what the fuzzy worm that decorated her upper lip like a festive Christmas garland would a mantelpiece really was, since she was otherwise well-dressed and made-up, you see.  She even had panty hose on in the sticky southern heat of a few days ago.

Maybe that is a nasty statement: why should a well-dressed woman --or any woman, for that matter-- forego the pleasures of having an accessory that for some reason (androgens, perhaps?) has been viewed as exclusively male?

So I started to think that perhaps discriminating on the basis of mustache should be the next crusade for women.  Why should we be denied, if The Powers that Be gave us the wherewithal, to grow and properly maintain thick, luxuriant mustaches?  It wouldn't have to be something that produces a visceral, knee-jerk disgust reaction, you know.  It could be something beautiful and elaborate; something to coat with glittery mascara and to weave beads into.

Something to behold: a woman's beautiful lip fur.

Certainly, it's something to be grateful for: it seems to have been a remedy of sorts for this dull, low-hanging writer's block.

Grace and Naps: Priceless

I am cross-posting here from Grace in Small Things, because while I have not been feeling like blogging lately--what with trying to sleep and recover, I have not been able to locate my inspiration-- I did feel like being a little grateful and catching up.  So here we are: a special slacker post, just for you!

Incidentally, I MUST post about a great book I've been reading while nursing Don Meow at 3 am: The No-Cry Nap Solution, by Elizabeth Pantley.  This book is a MUST READ, even if you have no kids-- certainly it's driven the point home that naps are not just necessary but they are a way of life.  I promise, this post will come soon!

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Yes, it's true: I am trying to catch up on a whole bunch of days all in one post (catching up on TWENTY-ONE days' worth of thankfulness, no less). It is a tall order for one blog entry, but I am confident this little post is The Little Post That Can.

First and foremost, I am catching up because I gave birth two weeks ago. It's true that some people are up and running marathons or walking the Victoria's Secret catwalk within two or three weeks of giving birth, but I am still just trying to take things in stride and get some sleep. So this will not be a conclusive list, but here is a good effort:

1. Little Don Meow, Herr Meow's baby brother and new love.
2. Having a quick labor (which did not seem so quick at the time).
3. The way the Wilson Bridge, the Washington Memorial and Old Town Alexandria looked all lovely and lit up the night I gave birth.
4. No traffic on the Capital Beltway-- this is, more than Grace, a miracle in itself.
5. Being able to laugh through vicious contractions.
6. Good hospital food. It exists, amazingly enough.
7. Nice nurses who truly care for their patients and trust their patients.
8. Lovely, kind people calling to congratulate and issue good wishes.
9. Family.
10. Noggin.
11. Sprout.
12. Cable, in general.
13. Sleep.
14. A baby bladder that works in proper order, even if it means getting sprayed with a generous plume of pee on an occasional basis.
15. Friends who help out or offer to help out.
16. Home-cooked meals.
17. Waking up weighing ten pounds less. The thrill is cheap, but it doesn't quite get old.
18. "Time Bomb" by Rancid.
19. Milk!
20. Being able to bend over without gasping for breath.
21. Celebrating five years of marriage.
22. Reconnecting with people you really, really like.
23. "Recuerdos de la Alhambra" by Tárrega.
24. Memories triggered by songs.
25. Wine, delicious wine.
26. Prosecco too.
27. Typos that make "prosecco" turn out like "prosexxo"-- which is quite a statement.
28. Windowshopping online.
29. Catching up and surpassing one's birth weight.
30. Being an inch longer than when we were born, too.
31. GOOD haircuts on the men in your life.
32. Naps.
33. Mothers who can cook well, and do.
34. Blankets and covers and pillows and warm things.
35. Newborn fuzz.
36. There can never be enough gratitude for Netflix in my heart.
37. Or for chocolate.
38. Or for food in general.
39. Or for blogging, really, even as much as I've neglected it lately.
40. Or for life in general, which is pretty thankfulness-worthy.

The Post I Honestly Didn't Think I'd Be Writing So Soon

I don't think I'm ungrateful, honestly. 

I take time to smile at strangers and value my health and I can find joy in certain arrangements of muzak in an elevator.  I like to feel a little more helpful in life by replacing products back on shelves in stores and I can appreciate lame puns and even laugh mirthfully at them.

I even used to volunteer to ring the Salvation Army bell, LA.  And while freezing my butt off in so doing, I would try to be as un-obnoxious as possible while shaking that little red thing (I know. I was a rarity).

So okay, I don't think I'm ungrateful.  But this "Grace in Small Things" deal is starting to get a little on my nerves.  There seems to be this little thing where there is such a thing as being too grateful, perhaps?

Is that bad?  I mean, it's not like it's ingratitude, right?  I still appreciate things, but the whole thing is making me feel like it's a chore, which is the opposite of appreciating them for what they are.

So before I become totally ungrateful and jaded about blogging, I think I need to stop.  Finito-- no more: I am done with Grace for now.

And if you'll excuse me, I have some Tropic Thunder to watch, for which I am grateful.

Grace in Small Things: 15/365

1. Bratwurst cooked in beer.

2. The fact that things do come to an end.

3. Happy endings-- not just of the sensual massage variety.

4. A good book.

5. Finding things that were lost-- especially when they are important.

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Can I just say that health is one of those graces that people take for granted?
Because right now I am feeling like ass and a half with something that is so very simple and inconsequential-- a cold-- and yet it's hard not to feel sorry for oneself.

So okay.  Health.

Grace in Small Things: 14/365

1. Flickr.  I just love seeing others' pictures, and having people comment on mine.

2. Strangers who can be funny and warm and caring.

3. Playdates that not only go smoothly, but are actually quite fun.

4. Christmas Crackers.

5. Arroz con coco.  YUM.

Grace in Small Things: 14/365

1. Seeing Herr Meow totally smitten and happy with a special friend.

2. Rain that makes 39 degrees feel just a little warmer.

3. Rain boots, to step in puddles.

4. Arepas for breakfast.  Arepas anytime, really.

5. The ability to check your landline's voicemail from any telephone.  Who says you have to be home to pretend in a convincing manner anyway?

Grace in Small Things: 13/365

1. Baby kicks-- lots and lots of them.  Even if they cause you to writhe in discomfort because you think you're going to pee yourself.

2. Being able to count to ten when gate goon types enforce the rules without giving them much thought.

3. The fact that you didn't get to see who was the little (insert favorite expletive here) who gave your baby a huge welt on his forehead.

4. Empanadas.  True love forever, deep-fried.

5. Discovering that your sweet husband paused Top Gear and so you don't get to miss one minute, even though you arrived home at 8:20 pm.

Grace in Small Things: 12/365

1. A quiet day of relaxation.

2. Getting the whole "Axel F"/not "Rockit" thing straightened out in my head.  There is nothing more annoying than having the wrong earworm in your head.

3. PIZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

4. "Elf"-- because it's one of the cutest movies evar.

5. Rediscovering my sashiko work and getting some done today.

Grace in Small Things: 10 & 11/365

Originally considered as "Grace in Small Things: FAIL"

Yup, I took a break from blogging yesterday.  I considered it.  I actually got home yesterday sometime around 11 pm so I had a whole hour's worth of blogging but instead I (wisely, I think) decided to get into bed.

I must say, there is much grace in being able to take a break from blogging when one is in order, don't you?  The moment something starts to feel like a chore, it's time to reassess priorities and realize that even if there is much to be learned from daily blogging, there is also something nice in being your own boss.

Enough digression: I am back for today, with a double grace.

1. Being able to take even a small break from blogging.

2. Doing a double grace, where you realize that 48 hours are far more filled with grace-worthy things than 24, and therefore this thing should write itself.

3. The glee and intensity of a Dr. Fish pedicure, and the good fortune of sharing my first one with a good friend :o)

4. Watching a fun show featuring a very tall drag queen in very high heels.

5. A beautiful full moon rising over Maryland Avenue and making it look unusually magical.

6. Getting to see a whole bunch of six- and seven-year olds playing hockey and looking little little LEGO men.

7. Those Harris Teeter free cookies for the kids.  That's right: I love eating them, although I'm well aware that they are meant for the kids.

8. Selling all those wreaths.   Finally... ah...

9. Having a fun time at a friend's party, especially as a confirmed introvert.

10. GPS.  I will readily admit, life is not the same without it.

Grace in Small Things: 9/365

1. Pork chops.

2. Looking forward to fishy pedicure!  I know, bizarre but intriguing right?  I'll let you know how it turns out, although I feel like I'm six months late to the pedi-frenzy.

3. The beauty that comes with raindrops falling perfectly on bare branches, making them look decked in precious jewels.

4. Discovering that the public library doesn't charge late fees for overdue children's books.

5. Having things to be grateful for, as well as a steady writing exercise.  It's really easy to get on a downward spiral this time of year, on account of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and on the hustle and bustle of the holidays and the short days and the lack of sunlight and the cold weather.  But sometimes it's easy to just sit back and actually taking a look at the good things that come off a day.  Even if the day wasn't particularly exciting, there is something to chuckle about.

Grace in Small Things: 8/365

Artistic Turd, originally uploaded by Madame Meow.

1. Yes. That's poop. I took the picture today at the Arboretum because poop makes me laugh. People taking their dogs to poop at the Arboretum doesn't make me nearly as happy --it's rather upsetting. But taking pictures of poop was among the easiest, most gleeful of things. And bonus: Herr Meow laughing at me taking pictures of poop. The boy gets it: his mother is a weirdo.

2. A good three-year checkup. YAY!

3. BROCCOLI KITTEH!!!!!!!!!! <3<3<3

4. Rotisserie chicken with fall-off-the-bone meat, sitting pretty in tis nice plastic container and ready to come over to my house and gladden my hearth. NOM.

5. BROCCOLI KITTEH!!!!!! <3<3<3 (oh, and visiting the Arboretum on an unseasonably warm day, too).

Grace in Small Things: 7/365

1. Sprout.  I have already readily admitted I love children's television, so this should come as no surprise.  Herr Meow loves watching Sprout and I love all the characters and all the silly shows.  Plus, it's PBS at any time of day.  It's one of those gushy little win-wins.

2. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.  I love him because he was a misfit.  I love him because I have had seborrheic dermatitis around my nose.  I love him because is so cute.

3. Go Diego Go's theme song.  Oh yeah, I'm just hitting them out of the park today, but I like that it's very um.. tropical.  I swear the song actually has accordions in the background, which is very Colombian.

4. Winter bulbs and plants.  No explanation necessary.

5. Dlisted-- the best trash-talking gossip site ever.  I suspect I will say grace for Dlisted many times in the year to come.

Grace in Small Things: 6/365

1. Top Gear.  Who cares that we're in a recession when Jeremy Clarkson is here to tell me about the newest, fastest, awesomest cars ever and then do ridiculous challenges with his cohosts?

2. Pigeon pose, and some mightily relaxed haunches. (However, I so do not look like the lady on the pose...)

3. Cashmere anything.  Well, okay, sweaters and socks and throws is more along the lines of what I mean, because I think it would be creepy to wear cashmere underwear, you know?

4. A really good steak, cooked nicely and eaten when you're hungry.

5. Funny typos.  Heh.

Grace in Small Things: 5/365

1. Deep breaths.  Many, many healing deep breaths.

2. Polar fleece, UGG boots, and other things to keep you warm in -7 windchill.

3. People so comically rude that all you can do is laugh.

4. The smell of real Christmas trees.

5. Really good chocolate truffles.

Grace in Small Things: 4/365

MY BABY!!!!!, originally uploaded by Madame Meow.

1. This picture. It cracks me up and gives me a warm fuzzy at the same time.

2. Legos. Only the awesomest toy ever.

3. Firefighters, really. I mean, all kidding aside, aren't you glad there are people willing to brave flames for you?

4. Christmas lights and decorations that make everything look twinkly.

5. Snow! Even if it's just a tiny little bit, it's so romantic and pretty.

Bonus: Did you know that if you put the lime in the coconut, then you'll feel better? No need to wake up the doctor.

Grace in Small Things: 3/365

1. The fact that hair grows back, no matter how short you cut it.

2. A cold, crisp day that flushes your cheeks and energizes you.

3. Having the knowledge that there are always friends who'll bail you out, even for silly things.

4. Facebook apps.  Addictive, but oh-so-very fun.

5. The smell of holiday greenery, pervasively clean even in the cold.  By the way, do any of you local readers need a beautiful balsam wreath?  I'm selling them for $25!  Help a middle-class child pay for more crayons!  Please?

Grace in Small Things: 2/365

1. Linda, the llama that just appeared on Go Diego, Go!  For that matter, all the characters on Go Diego, Go!

2. All the amazing train displays around the area. 

3. Nice people on the phone.

4. Trader Joe's tortellini-- ready in a flash, and quite delicious.

5. My good friend T, for her support today.  Thank you.

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Do you want to do your own Grace in Small Things?  Then go by Schmutzie's blog and read all about it.