Made Ya Look

Coffee and Gum, originally uploaded by Madame Meow.

The problem with our increasingly connected world is that it gets increasingly and exponentially harder to keep your attention long enough to get to the end of this post.

This is part of the reason I picked this picture, because I know you're getting your judgmental on and going, "EW GROSS GUM NEXT TO COFFEE AND I BET SHE CHEWED IT RIGHT AFTERWARD!"

Naturally I assume that when you're grossed out you become internet-gauche and walk them fingers over to the Caps Lock. But so far, it seems you're still here.

And then, there is Twitter.

I've rediscovered Twitter after feeling like I was getting too damn old for that particular crap. That and that one crazy chick who was using my nom de plume as her own had hijacked the username MadameMeow.

You understand how that could make someone at least a little uncomfortable.

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But Twitter, overused and underutilized though it is, is quite a charming tool.

Why spend hours agonizing what kind of post you will be writing-- and which tenor you will use, and how it will sound and what people will think, when you can just jot one down and put it up?

Here's one from today:

MmeMeow

I may have an overactive imagination, but when it smells awful and yellow "crime scene" tape pops into view, it's hard not to think amiss.

Curiously enough, this one got no replies-- too macabre? Incidentally, the smell was just car fumes, and the rotting-carcass-y stink from the Anacostia river, but apparently no body had been found.

Yet.

But you get my point, right? No?  Here's another one:

MmeMeow 

Toilet paper commercials are infinitely disturbing.

Which they are, incidentally: ALL toilet paper commercials seem to be coyly hinting that, tee-hee, you know?  PEOPLE POOP.  But none of them can tell you why or how you will utilize this portent of modern living.  Instead, they have dancing bears and overjoyed people finding new places to decorate with toilet paper rolls, and adorable puppies. 

Puppies --as if I need to remind you of this fact-- eat shit.

So you see the beauty of The Twitter?  It's like a memorandum of topics upon which NEVER to expound.  It's like What Not To Wear, but for blogs.

The smell of victory wafts in the air, ladies and gents.  And no, I'm not close to yellow tape.